


couldn't utter my love when it counted (couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: when it feels like the world's gone mad (dark stories) [3]
Category: Cinderella - All Media Types, Rags (2012)
Genre: ALMOST Character Death, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Dark, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Unrequited Love, i mean expanding the angst section too, when i promise to expand the fandom, with a slight twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-14 18:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16917642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: If you fall in love with the person destined to be your soulmate before they fall in love with you, then you will start to cough up flowers. Then if they fall in love with you, a tattoo of flowers will start to grow up their forearms. The only way both will stop is if you confess your love for each other.The only trick is- the flowers only stop once love is reciprocated and feelings are confessed.If the feelings end up confessed too early or too late, or somehow ended up confessed to the wrong person, then the results could be deadly.-The first time Charlie hacks up a flower, it is when he gets off the bus after showing Kadee what it's like to play the streets. He shows her to her limo and sets off on his way back to the Palace, humming as he goes.His throat feels scratchy, like there's something rubbing against it, and he coughs against his hand. Something smooth slides over his tongue, and when he moves his hand away from his mouth a white petal is laying in his hand.He freezes immediately, staring in horror at the petal in his hand.He loves Kadee, but she doesn't love him yet. And he knows that if she doesn't fall in love with him soon, he might die.Shit.





	couldn't utter my love when it counted (couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SparkyGurl227](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkyGurl227/gifts), [Demigod_with_dream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demigod_with_dream/gifts).



> Title is from "Shrike" by Hozier.
> 
>  
> 
> To those who wanted more Rags fic...I hope you're happy.

_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart_

_And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore_

_All I have, all I need, she's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in her hands, still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

**_-Breathe Again,_ Sara Bareilles**

 

Charlie remembers the fairytales his mom used to tell him about the Hanahaki disease.

“Hanahaki,” she would say, “Is both a blessing and a curse. It is a very painful indicator of True Love and Soulmates. It will tell you who you are meant to be with, but if you are the initiator rather than the reciprocator, then your love can cause so much pain."

If you fall in love with the person destined to be your soulmate before they fall in love with you, then you will start to cough up flowers. Then if they fall in love with you, a tattoo of flowers will start to grow up their forearms. The only way both will stop is if you confess your love for each other.

The only trick is- the flowers only stop once love is reciprocated and feelings are confessed.

If the feelings end up confessed too early or too late, or somehow ended up confessed to the wrong person, then the results could be deadly.

-

The first time Charlie hacks up a flower, it is when he gets off the bus after showing Kadee what it's like to play the streets. He shows her to her limo and sets off on his way back to the Palace, humming as he goes.

His throat feels scratchy, like there's something rubbing against it, and he coughs against his hand. Something smooth slides over his tongue, and when he moves his hand away from his mouth a white petal is laying in his hand.

He freezes immediately, staring in horror at the petal in his hand. 

At first he smiles, because that means that Kadee is his Soulmate. He's in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, and she's his  _Soulmate_. That's _amazing_.

But then the true implications set in: he loves her, but she doesn't love him yet. And he knows that if she doesn't fall in love with him soon, he might die.

Shit.

-

As Charlie walks up to the stage at the Majesty Records ball, he prays that the flowers will stop for long enough to get him through the performance. If he chokes up petals during his song, then he doesn't think he'll be able to get the chance to sing in front of a crowd ever again.

Then, for three minutes, he forgets about the damn flowers. All he can think about is the song he's singing, the movement of his body, and the sight of Kadee’s bright smile in the crowd.

Then his family starts to leave, and he can't stay at the ball. He has to get back home before Arthur, can't let his stepfather know he left the house when he was expressly forbidden from doing so. Who knows what his stepfather will do if he finds out Charlie went to the Majesty Records Ball?

In the hallway outside the ballroom, Kadee catches Charlie. And he has to run, has to get home before Arthur and his stepbrothers do, but there's just one thing he wants to try first-

Charlie kisses Kadee, and he hopes the smell of blood isn't easily recognizable on his lips.  
  
-

Kadee finds white flowers tattooed on her hand after she comes home from announcing the search for Rags, but she can't be sure who it could be. She has these confusing feelings for Charlie starting to build in the back of her mind, feelings that go beyond _just_ friendship, but she also can't stop thinking about kissing Rags. So, the question is- whose flowers does she have? The mysterious performer with magical lyrics and lips, or the friend who has taught her hope again?

Well, whoever it is- she needs to figure out who Rags is, and soon. If she confesses to Charlie and it's not him, then she could kill whoever her soulmate is.

(The thought lingers in the back of her head as she finds Charlie at the Place and convinces him to help her: if she finds Rags and confesses to him, and it's Charlie...then she could kill Charlie. And she doesn't think she could bear that.)

-

Arthur traps Charlie in the janitor's closet at the audition, saying something about Andrew getting to be introduced to the world as 'Rags,' and Charlie's heart falls to the floor and shatters.

“Get me out of here!” Charlie screams at Arthur, “You're killing me!”

But there's no noise on the other side. Arthur's gone to fulfill whatever he's planning.

Charlie pounds at the door, trying to get someone- _anyone_ \- to hear him, but he can't hit the door for very long. His body arches, sent bending over into a coughing fit in which he hacks up bloody petals. Blood and red-speckled white petals coat the floor as flowers tear at the inside of his throat, keeping him from being able to shout for rescue.

He slumps to the ground against the door, still weakly hitting at it as he tries to ignore the tears burning at the backs of his eyes. His stepfather is killing him.

-

Tammy and Sami rescue him from the janitor's closet and he runs to the auditorium, hoping to get there and hopefully reveal who Rag's really is to Kadee-

There's Andrew up on stage, holding Reginald Worth's hand, being announced as Rags. 

Charlie can feel a flower forcing its way up his throat, and he can't find the urge to disguise it anymore. Not when Kadee's up there with Andrew, when 'Rags' is being taken away from him, when the two things he loves most have both disappeared for him in a moment-

He turns and runs, ignoring the burning in his lungs and the flower trying to choke the life out of him. He can't stop the tears from coming down his face, now.

If Kadee has gotten her flowers and confesses feelings to Andrew, thinking it's Rags- because why would she have fallen in love with Charlie when there is a musician standing next to her- then he's going to die. It's plain and simple- there is no time to get Kadee to fall in love with him and not Andrew. And if she hasn't gotten her flowers, then he's definitely going to die. Charlie doesn't want to force her into falling in love with him, into getting her flowers too soon. There's not enough time to fix either scenario.

-

He reaches the Palace and runs up the stairs. He packs his bags knowing there's no use, but he just can't bear staying in this building with the man Kadee might use to accidentally kill him.

He looks Arthur directly in the eye knowing that his plans are directly leading to Charlie's death. "How could you do this?" he asks, voice rasping past the flowers in his throat, and Arthur just looks at him in contempt.

"This is your stepbrother's dream," Arthur says, "And you don't deserve to steal it from him."

 _You're killing me,_ Charlie could say but doesn't. There's no point. He's not sadistic- he won't fling words like thorns just to see where they sink in and who they hurt.

(And besides, in his heart of hearts, he has the feeling that Arthur heard him shouting from that closet. His stepfather knows what's at stake and _just doesn'_ _t care.)_

Arthur leaves and Charlie brgins to head out the door again before being stopped by Kadee coming in.

"Just wait for me to announce the real Rags," Kadee asks him, a plea on her lips. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Charlie looks Kadee directly in the eyes and the words rise to his lips:  _I love you_. But he doesn't say them. If he says them, and she doesn't have flowers on her arm- and has she had enough time to fall in love with Charlie considering she's only known him as himself for part of the time that he's known her- then there will really be no way to stop the flowers.

So he just nods, a small, broken smile forming on his face, and she gives him a soft smile that could break hearts- and  _is_ shattering his.

Then she heads up onstage and begins her announcement, and every one of Kadee's words sinks another thorn into Charlie's heart. "From the moment I first heard his music, I knew his lyrics would inspire others the way they inspired me."

Charlie can't watch as Kadee inadvertently passes his death sentence. He turns, picking up his bags, and begins to leave.

"But most important to me was his friendship." 

Every step out the door feels heavier and heavier. Charlie knows he has days left to live and he has no idea where he'll go from here, where he wants to spend his last few days alive. 

Then the magic words come over the speakers: “So please put your hands up for the real Rags, Mr. Charlie Prince!”

Charlie drops his bags, some measure of pressure falling from his shoulders. Kadee knows who he is, that Rags isn't Andrew-

Andrew steps out onto the stage, taking a mic. “Alright, the joke’s funny, but I’m the _real_ Rags.”

Kadee isn’t having it, though. She nudges him out of the way, taking the mic for herself. “No, this isn’t a joke. Charlie, get your ass up here!” Her grin is brilliant, and Charlie smiles back.

Then he tries to take a step up to the stage and stumbles forward as flowers force their way out of his throat, sending him to his knees. Entire bulbs are forcing their way past his lips, blood splattering against the Palace titles, and he can barely get any oxygen down past the stems in his throat.

Tears prick at his eyes- he's run out of time. Right when Kadee figured out who Rags was, he's going to choke on his own love.

He feels someone's hands against his shoulders, pulling him up to brace his back against someone's chest, and he finds Kadee has come down from the stage and is now holding him.

He doesn't even know if she has the flowers yet. Confessing to her would kill his ability to ever recover.

But if there’s no other choice, if this is the moment he is dying- “Kadee,” he starts to rasp, because this could be his last chance-

“Charlie, I love you,” Kadee says, tears in her eyes and conviction in her tone, and suddenly Charlie can breathe for the first time in weeks. He coughs once, and a small stream of petals fall out of his mouth. The pressure of flowers in his throat is finally gone.

“I love you too,” he says, breathing beautiful, clean air as he leans forward so he can be kneeling on his own legs instead of leaning on her. Then he turns around so he can face her, ignoring the red and white mess that's on the floor surrounding their legs. "Thank you," he says, and he realizes that he must look like a mess. He reaches up his arm to wipe off his lips on his jacket, to clean the blood from his skin. "You saved my life."

She reaches forward and pulls him into a gentle hug- and thank god she doesn't pull too tight, because he doesn't think his freshly freed lungs can handle it- and he hugs back. "My privilege," she says, "After everything you've done for me."

Charlie smiles into her hair. 

“Did you know?” Charlie hears a familiar voice shout, and he looks over with exhausted eyes to find Andrew vigorously shaking his head at Lloyd, looking spooked. No doubt why- he nearly just watched his stepbrother die.

Arthur, however, says nothing.

“Dad, you-" Lloyd’s voice breaks into a scream. “You nearly fucking _killed_ Charlie!” He lunges at Arthur and it takes Maria and Diego to drag him back.

"The bastard's not worth it," Diego spits as Charlie feels a nudge in his side. He looks back at Kadee to find her offering him a hand. He takes it, spotting the string of white flowers climbing up her arm and into her jacket, and she helps him to his feet.

"You good?" she asks, gaze concerned, and he understands. The evidence of his near-death is scattered on the floor around their feet and staining the leather of his jacket sleeve.

But to be honest, he's never felt better. His lungs aren't at their full capacity and his legs are shaky, but he can breathe now and he is looking at Kadee, ernest and wonderful and so worth the pain.

He nods, offering her a smile as he laces their fingers together. "Never better, now that you're here." 

She smiles, then leans in and presses a gentle kiss to Charlie's cheek. Charlie can feel her lips trembling and knows that what just happened has probably shaken her a lot. He hopes that they'll be over to get over the bloody flowers together. "Good."

 

_I was hatched by your warmth_

_And I was transformed_

_Remember me love, when I'm reborn_

_As a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn_

_- **Shrike** ,_ **Hozier**


End file.
